A nice reminder and motivation

 In 2014 my husband, Rocky,  passed away. Since then, I have been undisciplined, scatterbrained, and, overall, not productive. I've just been living day to day without any real structure, I just went wherever the day took me. Sure, I've done things, but never really finishing anything, floating through life just hoping things that came up on my life would either resolve themselves or just disappear. That was nine years of  my life. I just couldn't seem to get anything together. 

Rocky didn't have the easiest life, he was emancipated at the age of 14, in the 70's, back when there weren't many programs for homeless teenagers. He learned at a young age how to survive, no matter what life threw his way. After we had gotten married, he still had that mentality.  During the years that we were financially sound, he still had the mentality that in a blink of an eye what we had could be taken away. He was always on the search for something that he could sell, barter or anything that could improve our life. 

In the last few months I thought about his tenacity and his spirit to always be a better person, to always be on the lookout for anything he could flip and despite his life, be there for anyone who needed something. I wished I had his drive and his spirit to not quit. I have to admit, I have thought more than a few times that I may fail to reach my goal. Rocky always said "failure is not an option" and that holds true for this situation. Even knowing that, I didn't know that I could measure up. 

To reach my goal I need to be disciplined and work toward that goal every day. I have known that, but I just couldn't seem to keep the momentum. Lat night I remembered that I had some rolled up change in my dresser and I had hoped that adding the change to my running total would help me keep my momentum. As I was taking the change out of my drawer, I spotted the little box that held a special necklace to me. The necklace is a fingerprint of Rocky's that the funeral home made when he passed away. I haven't looked at the necklace in years. For some reason, I took it out of the small, black case and ran my fingers over the fingerprint. Oddly, that made me feel better. For the first time since he passed away, I put the necklace on. 

As odd as it sounds, I instantly felt better, I felt like I could wake up tomorrow and not only make it through the day, but, putting that necklace on made me feel like I could tackle anything that came my way. I haven't felt like that since he was alive. 

I know if Rocky were here, he would say "We got this!" and my friend would be right we do got this!



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